The Hard Conversations

Abstract

Most of what goes wrong with a gift economy goes wrong in a room. Not in the design, which can be careful, but in the meeting where the design is explained to someone who did not take part in it and has reasons to doubt it. The board member who wants a return on investment. The union representative who has seen generosity used before as a prelude to cuts. The partner firm that suspects it is being asked for something for nothing. The colleague who thinks the whole idea is soft. The family member who hears a proposal about money and gifts as a judgement on how the family has been living. Each of these people is, in a sense, right to be wary. Chapter 3 showed that the gift can dominate, that it can be used to close a line rather than open one, and that the house's own book overclaimed on the chemistry of trust. A sceptic who has noticed any of these things has noticed something real. The conversations in this chapter start from that fact. They do not try to win. They try to say what is true, in the order the other person needs to hear it, and to leave the line open.